Brooks Keeper League I – Power Rankings – Week 2
Welcome to what I think is technically the Week 2 Power Rankings. Power Rankings will be posted by me, Jordan, every Tuesday before 1pm (I’m not getting paid so fuck yourself if it’s late). If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to post or email me at jprice12@mail.csuchico.edu. Mostly I’m looking for suggestions for weekly/end of the year awards, stats you want me to dig up, etc. Kevin is starting to collect buy ins, so please don’t forget about that. Good luck to everyone in Week 2!
- Taste The Sizzurp (1-0, Chase) – Marshawn Lynch may have had too many skittles in his Codine/Arizona Watermelon Juice Concentrate concoction, but it didn’t matter as Peyton Manning with half an arm is still better than the entire league. Love the Anquan pick, but these RBs will need to step up next week to keep this production going (3 backs, 21 points). The Cowboys added a surprising boost, as Murray looked good when he isn’t hurt on the sideline, and the Boys may be one of the best fantasy defenses this year (T-1st). I don’t expect this team to remain in the top spot, but credit is deserved for the highest margin of victory and points scored.
Best Player (this week): P. Manning
Biggest Disappointment: Lynch
- AP One Play (1-0, Derrick) – Possibly the scariest team in the league, if only Ben-Jarvis-Jew-Parents wasn’t a starting back on this team. The 14 carries was more than I expected, but less than 2 yards a carry sounds about right. AP still put up 28 points for being “shut down”, and he should be the player to fear every week. Derrick’s RBs may suck, but Green and Marshall are both showing the targets and production that most RBs didn’t see this week (44 points, pretty much Matt’s team). Gronks will be healthy soon, and Miami D doesn’t look like a bad option. Also, Cam doesn’t play the Seahawks every week.
BP: A.J. Green
BD: Browns D
- Who the Fuck is Conky? (1-0, Jake) – Almost the comeback of the week, but it really wasn’t a comeback once the Eagles took the field. Desean looked good for the first time in his career, and I don’t see him getting less than five catches a game. Once again, the backs stunk it up (big trend this week), but a decent QB and some WRs is all you need. Cruz in 45 minutes of garbage time a’int so bad either. While I expect the backs to rebound (and Mathews doesn’t look too bad when he actually gets the ball), injuries could derail this team if James Jones and Josh Gordon (suspended) don’t start producing in the next couple weeks.
BP: Victor Cruz
BD: Pats D / James Jones
(Jake’s our roommate, but if you haven’t met Conky)
- King Alfred The Underwhelming (1-0, Kevin) – As fast as Vereen became a solid pick up, he’s already hurt and putting this team in a bind at RB. Having said that… ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgd2w0SQEYI ) , Alfred Morris will be a beast down the line and Kev had two of his best players (steal of the draft – Julius Thomas) riding the bench. Expect this team to go to double TE flex (39 points combined), and while David Wilson tried his hardest to lose his starting job, as well as Kev’s matchup against Ryan, I wouldn’t expect him to get the minimal carries he got last week.
BP: DT (and JT)
BD: Willllllllllllson!
- Team Magic The Gathering (0-1 , Ryan) – Ryan was a bad team name (not for its cleverness, but for its relation to faggy English wizards) away from having the comeback of the week, and it also didn’t help that Shanahan was too scared to give RG3 a half during the preseason. Instead he used the first half of MNF to get things rolling, and RG3 was just pedestrian enough to lose the matchup. Speaking of pedestrian, Arian Foster is on his way back from injury as well, and will also benefit from a few weeks of conditioning. While I don’t expect J. Cook to maintain this production in the future, he was a solid mid-round pick up and really almost had a 30 point day (that fumble also cost Ryan the matchup). Despite losing, Gryffindor put up over 100 and has Vincent Brown and Andre Roberts on the bench. I fully expect a rebound.
BP: J. Cook
BD: Steelers WR core (should have drafted Cotchery!)
- Chips “45 Run Plays” McCoy (1-0, Taylor) – Despite the 92 point performance and Comeback of the Week Honors, McCoy has a sneaky good team with a solid bench. I’d almost start Bryce Brown considering the sheer amount of plays Chip Kelly managed that game. Montee Ball might suck a fat one, but Joique Bell was the biggest surprise for being the 2nd RB on a Lion’s depth chart. Aaron Rodgers to Cobb is one of the best tandems in the league, Torrey Smith will get his, and the Bears D looks like it will keep getting turnovers. Needs new TEs.
BP: LeSean “Chips” McCoy
BD: Mike “One Trick Pony” Wallace
- RK3 (1-0, Nick) – Last amongst the winning teams, Kooper Klux Klan is a solid team with a large drop off after its top 4 players. Brady will be better (52 attempts! 5 yards a pass), Charles looks good in that offense, Reggie is fast on turf (but already getting hurt), and Wes Welker reads Goodnight Moon to Peyton every night because they’re such best friends. Tony G ain’t bad, and if he gets that TD at the end, this team looks that much better. Still skeptical about Run DMC, Colts D sucks and he doesn’t get over 3 YPC, but a starting back in the flex play getting 11 points is just fine. The bench sucks, but at least Fred Jackson might be splitting more carries soon.
BP: Reggie Bush
BD: Lance Moore (Young guys taking his touches)
- The Ginger Red Man (0-1, Mark) – Definitely one of the better losing teams this week, getting Kaep in the second round doesn’t seem so Christina Reach-y any more. I expect Vjax and Witten to be consistent fantasy producers this year, and Hartline should make his way into the lineup next week. However, this team will largely depend on how well MJD does, which sadly is tied to how well the Jags are doing. And the Jags scored no offensive points on Sunday. Manning makes a good bench player, but the rest of the bench is awful (Hartline excluded). I’d drop 4 of those guys and not even pick anyone up, just so I’d have more points on my bench than if I did have them.
BP: Kaeptain Crunch Time
BD: Your RBs (Sproles might as well play wide out)
- No One Likes You Romo, Go Away (0-1, Jordan) – This week was riddled with hit or miss, and this team could use a bit more consistency from a few key positions. I like Forte and Johnson’s touches in Week 1, but they faced two of the best Run Ds in the NFL and suffered accordingly. Gio played like a white Italian, but also had several nice runs called back and could see some touches after Ben Jarvis stunk it up. Roddy White tells his fantasy owners AFTER the game that they shouldn’t have started him. What a dick and a terrible mindset to have. Fitz has a QB again. Austin and Hopkins look promising but are still producing as rookie WRs do, and it’s up to Romo, Forte, or CJwisheshewasstill2k to pick up the slack.
BP: VD (worst initials)
BD: Roddy “Well I didn’t practice, so fuck you” White
- What Would Brees-us Do? (0-1, Mike) – Really the last of the teams with some potential, Mike suffers from a lack of TDs. Owen Daniels looked good and had his RZ targets, but the lack of RZ carries from Ridley and Bradshaw was alarming. Both have bounce back potential (Vereen out, Bradshaw saw like 9 plays), and Miles Austin or Dwayne Bowe will be the best Bench WR in the league. I like Mike’s bench players; I really do, but not so much for fantasy purposes. 10 points from 3 backs on his bench, and I didn’t include Pead (suspended), and 4 points from 2 backs starting. 14 points from 6 backs on the roster is bad anyway I draw it up. A switch at defense and a high waiver wire spot could right this ship sooner than later.
BP: Owen Daniels
BD: Ridley
- Team Matt Lawrence (0-1, Matt) – This was a tough choice, but Jen gets the nod for having suitable bench players filling in for this disappointing week 1 roster. Amendola looks good for the Pats, but will likely miss Week 2. Andre is a beast, and Calvin got his obligatory “For some reason I like to put the ball on the ground when I score” TD out of the way. Finley should start, and Stevie and Randle provide solid WR depth. The only thing missing is production from C.J. Spiller. It’s common knowledge if you draft C.J. Spiller in the first round, you’re gonna have a bad time. This team looks like a mess, but there’s a decent fantasy team in there somewhere.
BD: C.J. Spiller
- Me Likely Last Year’s Rookies (0-1, Anton) – While I don’t expect this team to be at the bottom for long, Lamar Miller had .3 yards per carry. They’re gonna have to measure his stats in feet if he sucks it up any more. Eddie Lacy should see the line up this week with Lamar riding the bench until he can get past 1 foot per carry. Anton does have some solid players though, as Luck produced, Martin should keep getting carries, and Richardson could be fantasy good. Bad luck for Dez, and sadly Eric Decker could get phased out in certain matchups. Decker did have targets, but his legs were tired from fucking his hot wife.
BP: Andrew Luck
BD: Lamar Miller
Beginning of the Season Awards
Best Team Name – Chips McCoy (it’s got food, head coach, first player drafted, originality we hope). Runner up: Riley Cooper Klux Klan
Best Team Picture – Riley Cooper Klux Klan (now THAT’S a jersey I’d wear). Runner up: I love CJs
Best Draft – A.P. All Day (hard choice, but his first 5 rounds are beast.) Runner up: King Alfred (Alfred was a slight reach but all the RBs suck anyways, great first picks and some good later round value at TE)
Best Bench – Chips McCoy (a bit after the fact, but pretttty pretty good)
Steal of the Draft – Julius Thomas (pick 146 – King Alfred)
Keeper of the Draft – Michael Crabtree (pick 181 – E.L.Romo, should see the field by November, 12th rounder next year)
Weekly Awards
Player (of the week) – Peyton Manning (Taste the Rainbow)
Start – Cowboys D (Taste the Rainbow)
Good Sit – Eric Decker (Me Likey Rookies 3)
Bad Sit – Jermichael Finley (I Love CJs)
Comeback – Chips McCoy over Everyone Loves Romo
Most Points – Taste The Rainbow
Margin of Victory – Taste The Rainbow over Me Likey Rookies 3
Week 2 Picks
King Alfred over CJ
Romo over Redness
Rainbow over Klan
McCoy over Brees
Griff over Rooks
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
Conky over AP
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