Brooks Keeper League I – Power
Rankings – Week 4
Welcome to the Week 4 Power Rankings.
I’d like to start off by congratulating you guys on one of the more
competitive fantasy football leagues ever conceived. Two 3-0 teams, one 0-3 team, and a urinal
deuce the size of Ryan’s team. Otherwise, everyone else is still in this. Also, just a reminder, bye weeks are coming
so start building depth. All your
benches are terrible.
(N/C = no change in rankings, ↑# = up in rankings, ↓# = down)
1.
Chase:
Taste The Meat, Not The Heat (3-0, N/C) – There’s a
level of consistency with this team that I’ve never seen from a Chase run
fantasy football team. Manning and
Golden Grahams have exceeded expectations early on, and fucking DeMarco Murray
is putting up 25 points? Wtf? I thought St. Louis D might be good this
year, but they couldn’t even stop the world’s stiffest running back. He looks like a boner in cleats. Good news is that if you’re trying to catch
first place, Chase lacks a flex player, and the bench is still shitty. For now, he’s king of the hill.
Best Player (this week): Graham,
he should just count as a WR or a power forward or something.
Biggest Disappointment: Mendenhall
2.
Taylor:
Chips “That show is gay” McCoy
(3-0, ↑1) – Taylor’s team has
been racking up points every week, finally earning himself the #2 spot. With Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb sucking
it up, Bears D against the shitty Steelers and Joique Bell with no Reggie had
to carry the load. It worked this week,
but with McCoy feeling the effects of 100 touches in 3 games and the complete
lack of a starting TE (like 5 points in 3 games or something silly like that),
this team worries me. He also has a
Green Bay bye this week, so in comes Carson Palmer, the worse QB
of the two Palmers.
BP: Daaa
Bears
BD: Kyle
“Goose” Rudolph
3.
Jake:
Instagram Can Gobble These Nuts (2-1, ↓1) – The Ray Rice injury and
everything else caught up to Jake’s team this week, but I’m not ready to
sell. Only two starters actually won
their game, while his entire bench pretty much won and blew up. J. Jones comes
out this week for the Packers’ bye, but Josh Gordon torched Minnesota last week
and pretty much became a must-start anyways.
Victor Cruz could use replacing, as his Giants team is putrid ass
milk. Fucking shut out by the Panthers,
good grief Tom Coughlin. Jake’s team
will be getting some players back soon enough, as Ray Rice and Le’Veon (did you
mean Leaving?) Bell have been mentioned as possible starters this week. Not to mention, he’s got Taylor on a few byes
in this week’s matchup and could be the one to take him down.
BP: Matt
Ryan
BD: Eifert,
Cruz
4.
Jordan:
No One Likes You Jordan, Go Away (2-1, ↑1) – Solid win against an Adrian
Peterson led team, I like the consistency I get out of this team. Forte hasn’t dropped below double digits and
Jay Gruden just announced Gio Bernard will get more carries. 90 points ain’t too shabby when your top two
WRs have been hurt all season and you do your best Taylor impression at the TE
position. Sadly, I tossed the Lions’ D
to pick up a useable tight end this week, who goosed anyways. Niners suck.
Good news is that if CJ1.2k can actually score a touchdown this week, I
might actually look threatening.
BP: Matt
Forte
BD:
49ers TEs
5.
Kevin: King Alf The Resilient
(2-1, ↑1) – About the lowest
amount of points you’d expect for a team with a bunch of Jags and Raiders
matchups, Kev’s still got fantasy relevant players on winning teams, except
Alfred Morris. Good thing about Morris
is that he still puts up a solid fantasy outing on less than 15 carries. This would probably be the best team if the
Redskins weren’t the absolute worst.
Bernard Pierce got his points this week vulturing for an injured Rice, but
we may see some Bilal action this week with the consistent production he’s put
up. I Bilal! Also, start Jordan Cameron, stuppppppid
BP: Jordan
Cameron
BD:
Broncos D
6.
Nick:
Clayton Bigsby (2-1, ↑1) – My apologies to Nick, I roasted his team and didn’t even
give him a different silly team name, and left it as RK3. Just plain lazy and incompetent. In the theme of ever changing team names,
Nick will get a racist white supremacist every week! This week, Clayton Bigsby! Always a classic.
Oh, and his team is pretty good too! If
it weren’t for special teams and defense, this is probably one of the higher
scoring teams in the league. Also, big props
for the Snelling start. It also helps
when you can start two QBs, as McFadden is just useless on the ground. Doug Baldwin is an improvement over Lance
Moore.
BP: Jamaal
(three in a row!)
BD:
Niners D
7.
Derrick:
AP its Still Good (1-2, ↓3)
– Another tough loss and a big drop for an otherwise solid team. I stand by my playoff contender statement, as
this team has way too many big playmakers.
They won’t go off every week, but if this team can get some wins and
make the playoffs, Derrick has the right team for a 3-4 week stretch. Derrick may also want to keep the Chiefs D in
for the next 4 weeks, as they’re pretty good.
On the downside, I’m not sure how long Ben-Jarvis can keep up any
semblance of fantasy production.
BP: Cam
BD:
Steve Smith
8.
Matt:
I Love Children’s Jokes (1-2, N/C) – Matt was pretty confident of himself going into this week,
kind of like C.J. Spiller. And like
Spiller, Matt was
choked slammed into the turf and that was the end of
his day. It also didn’t help that Finley
went down too. Matt was one goose egg
short of an English breakfast. That
aside, DeAngelo Williams is still benefiting from no Jonathan Stewart, and Matt
will do nicely every time the Lions offense tears a team up. I like Matt’s team, but winning will help him
more than my vote of confidence.
BP: Stafford
BD:
Spiller
9.
Anton:
Me Still Prefers Matchups Against Ryan (1-2, N/C) – Anton’s team likes to show up
every other week, and this wasn’t one of those weeks. It’s not a good sign that Richardson entered
the game with an injury, and left the first quarter with the same injury. Anton may want to go with a three wide out
lineup, as Decker might be a better option than some of the starting
backs. Big balls for starting Luck
against the Niners. I know he didn’t do much fantasy wise, but this
bootleg made my day.
Also, I may have said this last week, but all three of your defenses
suck, and have a combined record of 1-8.
BP: Andrew
Luck
BD:
T.Y. Hilton
10.
Mike:
What Would The Rest of Your Team Do? (1-2, ↑2) – Absolutely jack shit! That’s
what. Drew Brees is a one man team, and
Julio Jones is his laboratory assistant.
Good win for putting up only 69 points and starting the Steelers D. Did you leave them in by mistake? Too afraid to drop them because someone might
pick them up? That won’t be a
problem. Steeler’s D has put up 1 point
in 3 games. Earlier I mentioned this is one of the more competitive
leagues, and it isn’t the most because Mike keeps starting Steeler’s D. I’m going to call social services on you.
BP:
Drew Breesus
BD: Defense
11.
Mark:
Kaep a Bust (0-3, N/C) – Just when the trade looked pretty good, Bowe gooses and
Knowshon gets vultured. Mark may have
had no chance of winning this week, but he would have remained competitive if
Kaep didn’t suck so bad. I thought the
Colts D was just what he needed, but there are obviously more problems at play
when it comes to the Niners offense. It
gets worse, because before the season I would have said Eli was a solid fantasy
backup. Now he gets 3 points and Mark
actually made the better start by starting Kaep. Big props for the Sidney Rice start, and I
feel Mark’s first win is around the corner, but this team hasn’t had anything
go its way.
BP: Sidney
Rice
BD:
Bowe
12.
Ryan:
RG 0-3 (0-3, ↓2)
– A fitting name change for the worst team in the league! However, it’s less of a mystery of the urinal
deuce and more of a round table of Ryan’s friends watching Ryan shit in a
urinal. Antonio Brown lit up the Bears D
to save Ryan’s dignity, but otherwise this team was god awful. The good news was that Ryan actually saw RG3
run this week, but too bad it ended like
this. Ryan has the names to turn it around, but
I’ve never seen such a level of underperformance. Side note:
Chris Ivory is the only player on Ryan’s team whose team actually won
their game. Everyone else is on a losing
team.
BP: Antonio
Brown
BD:
Hakeem Nicks
GIFS of the Week
Weekly
Awards
Player (of the week) – Antonio
Brown (Deuce)
Start – Snelling (Riley);
Runner-up: Sidney Rice (Kaep)
Bad Start – Vance
McDonald (Romo)
Good Sit – You all
suck. I guess sarcastically Ahmad Bradshaw
Bad Sit – Jordan
Cameron (ALF),
Comeback –No One
Most Points – Taste the Rainbow
Margin of Victory – Taste
the Rainbow
Bounce back Player – Antonio
Brown (Deuce)
Week
4 Picks
Romo
over Brees
Klan
over Rooks
CJ
over Deuce
Conks
over McCoy
AP
over Kaep
MATCHUP
OF THE WEEK
Rainbow
over ALF
